💌 Teri Says Hi.
Hi friend,
Often when people talk about "positive thinking" what they're actually referring to is "positive self-talk". And while that sounds like a good thing, it can actually keep you stuck where you are and limit your growth.
The problem is that self-talk is only 1 of 6 things you do in your mind.
The 6 Things You Do in Your Mind:
- Pictures
- Sounds
- Feeling
- Taste
- Smell
And then we have self-talk.
The self-talk is the most conscious part of you. You're likely aware of your self-talk, but how aware are you of the other 5? And all 6 of these combined create what we call your Internal Representation.
Your Internal Representations determine your focus, your focus determines your behaviour, and your behaviour influences your results. Simply put...
You get what you focus on.
Yet in the personal development world, so much emphasis is placed on "positive self-talk". So much so that people have become afraid to talk about their problems because they don't want to sound "negative". So they filter everything through their "positive language filters" and never actually say what's wrong.
I see this with clients all the time. Often, they'll even cover their mouths to stop the negative thing from escaping.
In relationships, this leads to quiet resentment and conflict avoidance.
Speaking of conflict...
🎙️ Podcast Recap: From Conflict to Growth with Dorothy Andreas
In this episode, we invited Dorothy Andreas back to the show to discuss her relaunched bestselling book, Conflict Revelation.
In this episode you'll learn:
✨ The cost of avoiding conflict
✨ 4 pillars of human behaviour
✨ The archetypes we play
Listen here:
🎧 Apple Podcasts | Spotify | YouTube
🚀 Upcoming Events:
The (Almost) 1:1 Workshop
If you’ve ever thought, “I wish I knew what I should focus on,” this is it.
Yahel Demeter and I are hosting another (Almost) 1:1 Workshop, a live, hands-on business intensive where you’ll get personalized clarity, expert coaching, and the strategic push you’ve been craving.
📅 February 26
📍 Langley, BC
There are only 6 seats left.
👉 Grab your seat here
🧠 Back to that self-talk stuff.
Changing your words to sound positive doesn't get rid of the problem.
In NLP, we say that written and spoken words are the "surface structures" which are symbols of the mental and linguistic "deep structures".
The problems lie in the deep structures, not the surface structures. So you can be the best in the world at using positive language, but that doesn't mean there isn't trouble lurking beyond the surface.
How do you know if this is a problem?
Simply ask yourself:
- Am I getting what I want or not most of the time?
- Do I feel fulfilled in most areas of life?
- Do I keep setting the same goals and not achieving them?
So where does positive thinking come in?
By doing the deeper work. Healing your "stuff". Changing the way you think, not just the words you use to describe your experience.
Then you will actually become a positive thinker instead of just a positive talker.
💛 Teri’s Top 5
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📺 Show: one of my favourite shows, Shrinking, is back on Apple with new season and I'm thrilled. If you haven't watched it, think Ted Lasso but with therapists.
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🎥 Movie: Wuthering Heights. We went to see this on Friday, and it was beautifully filmed with superb acting. I'm curious to re-read the book again to see what they changed.
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🥤Drink: I am obsessed with Cove Probiotic Soda right now.
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📖 Book: Currently reading Beyond the Quantum by Michael Talbot
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✍️ Journal prompt: Where would I like to see more fulfillment in my life?
That’s it for this week, friend.
Until next time,
💛
Teri
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