Teri Holland (00:26.766)
So I want to start at sort of the beginning of your journey and go back to 2020. Tell us what happened, what changed in your world in 2020.
Erika Brouillette (00:38.219)
Well, we woke up on a Sunday morning, getting ready for Sunday school and church and daddy's car wasn't home. And we went about our day trying to call my husband, figuring out where, if we could find where he was and he wasn't answering. We were about to walk out the door and my phone rang.
And it was the ICU at a hospital about 20 minutes away letting me know that they had my husband in the ICU, that they had already performed brain surgery, and that I needed to get there as soon as possible. And that was the day that my life changed.
Um, you want me to keep going? I'm really sorry. I don't, can you hear me?
Erika Brouillette (01:42.079)
I don't have it yet.
Erika Brouillette (01:48.481)
Terry, can't, are you on there? A lot, I can't.
Teri Holland (01:48.59)
You are breaking up a lot. am, but you are very... Yeah, like I couldn't understand any of that. It was like choppy, super, super choppy.
Erika Brouillette (01:55.544)
shouldn't have it. Let me switch. know.
Teri Holland (02:04.098)
And now you're frozen.
Erika Brouillette (02:08.672)
Okay, is that better?
Teri Holland (02:14.446)
Can you hear me?
Erika Brouillette (02:17.217)
Okay, is that better? my god.
Teri Holland (02:18.382)
Oh, oh, you're starting to come back. You're starting to come back. Okay.
Teri Holland (02:28.206)
Huh, okay, let's see.
Erika Brouillette (02:29.003)
Okay. Is that any better?
Teri Holland (02:32.908)
Okay.
Erika Brouillette (02:35.137)
I'm so sorry.
Teri Holland (02:36.534)
It seems better now, but I missed that entire thing. I am so sorry. It just immediately started cutting out.
Erika Brouillette (02:40.701)
No, that's okay because my front door is opening like nobody's business and I'm about ready to lose my crap on my children. So hold on one second.
Teri Holland (02:51.202)
Don't even worry about that. Yeah, that'll be fine.
Erika Brouillette (03:06.369)
second year.
Erika Brouillette (03:19.191)
Okay. All right. Is it sounding better?
Teri Holland (03:25.634)
think so, so far. We'll hope so.
Erika Brouillette (03:29.044)
All right.
Teri Holland (03:31.79)
Yeah, it's gonna be fine. It's gonna be fine. Okay, so we'll just start, it'll start again and I'm gonna ask the same question and then you're gonna give the same, just go over the same stuff, whatever you just said. Okay? Okay. So Erica, I wanna start at the very beginning. Take us back to 2020 and what happened in your life at that point?
Erika Brouillette (03:43.307)
Okay.
Erika Brouillette (03:56.183)
Well, it was October 11th. We woke up getting ready for church and Sunday school. And as we were leaving, realized that my husband's car was not outside. And we went to church, came back, daddy still wasn't home. We had called and text and left messages and we're still not able to get a hold of him. Went throughout our day trying to
be normal, but thinking that there was something off. And our oldest son was 10 at the time and he had mentioned to find my iPhone with daddy's iPhone. And we pinged it, found out that it was about 20 minutes away and we were about to get in the car and see where daddy was and the phone ring. And it was Swedish hospital down the road and they said,
Mrs. Brulette, I think we have your husband here. Things aren't good. He's already undergone emergency brain surgery and we need you to come down here and identify him. And at that moment, our lives changed. We spent the next six months in the hospital, literally just me and him. It was the midst of COVID and so our sons were not able
Teri Holland (04:58.744)
Wow.
Teri Holland (05:11.34)
Mm-hmm.
Erika Brouillette (05:23.383)
to be in the hospital with him. I was only able to be there from 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. because COVID came out at night. And the first few days we didn't know from minute to minute what was going to happen. I had to call his mom in Thailand and have her fly back to make sure that she was with him.
Teri Holland (05:35.252)
Great.
Erika Brouillette (05:52.893)
in case things didn't go well. We had to call his oldest son and tell him that news. And so
Teri Holland (06:04.238)
Wow.
Erika Brouillette (06:07.604)
The entire, from the first moment that I started talking to the nurses and the doctors there, I knew that God had a purpose for me in all of this and that was to help other people. I was told so many times that there's not a handbook for what my husband was going through. He had a severe traumatic brain injury and
Teri Holland (06:21.314)
Mm-hmm.
Teri Holland (06:32.748)
Mm-hmm.
Erika Brouillette (06:36.554)
was in a coma for almost three months. so there wasn't much hope for him. But there also wasn't what's going to happen next. We were told day in and day out that there wasn't a handbook. Every TBI is different. And we just don't know what tomorrow is going to look like. So I kind of made it my mission to do that for other people.
Teri Holland (06:42.37)
Wow.
Teri Holland (06:56.044)
Mm-hmm.
Teri Holland (07:03.744)
Okay. So what was, can you share with us a little bit about what caused his TBI? Like what was it an accident? What happened? Yeah.
Erika Brouillette (07:11.924)
Yeah, so he was in a car accident. It was one car. He ran into a building. I don't know many of the other details because I needed to put my energy into where it needed to be in saving my husband's life, being there to be his advocate. so that's all the details that I know, is he in his vehicle ran into a building. I can only assume it was at a speed because he liked to drive fast.
Teri Holland (07:23.438)
Okay.
Teri Holland (07:29.485)
Mm-hmm.
Teri Holland (07:35.67)
Okay.
Teri Holland (07:44.138)
Okay. And so what was, how did you cope in the early days? Like you were talking about how there's no, there's no handbook, everything is different. What got you through that? I mean, that's, there would have been so much uncertainty for you. How did you cope?
Erika Brouillette (07:59.573)
Yeah, yeah. So much uncertainty and so much isolation. only had, we were, he was in the ICU for three weeks and in that time it was just, you know, the one nurse on duty and the few doctors that would come in and out and I was asking them every single question. I feel like now I'm a medical expert because I,
Teri Holland (08:06.83)
Hmm
Teri Holland (08:27.041)
Yeah.
Erika Brouillette (08:28.47)
I needed to know all of the things, but I had to rely on God and my faith because I knew that he could work miracles. I knew that if he wanted to take him, that he would have. And so he had me there to advocate for him.
Teri Holland (08:30.808)
You
Teri Holland (08:36.782)
Mm-hmm.
Teri Holland (08:56.237)
Right.
Erika Brouillette (08:57.726)
to get him to the right places, to have the right people in his circle to help heal him.
Teri Holland (09:09.07)
Okay. Before this happened, what was your life like? And then how did it change? How has it changed from that point on?
Erika Brouillette (09:17.078)
Our life was crazy. We have four boys. He has one from a previous relationship and then we have three together. At that time they were 20, 10, four and two. And so we were very busy. Our boys love sports and we love music. So we did lots of music festivals.
Teri Holland (09:22.115)
haha
Teri Holland (09:39.31)
Wow.
Erika Brouillette (09:46.677)
He worked, he was the one who worked. I stayed home with the boys and we were just very involved in all of the boys things and lots of music. So life has changed drastically. I am now his caregiver. We also have
a full-time caregiver in our house. He is nonverbal. He is fed through a G-tube. He is in a wheelchair. And I put quotes up and paralyzed on his right side because he's starting to have movement on that side. Our kids are still very, very busy.
Teri Holland (10:35.502)
Wow.
Erika Brouillette (10:40.286)
which just means that I have to be more organized because I am in charge of all of his scheduling for his doctor's appointments and his therapies and advocating for those. feel like being in the Medicaid system, I know your guys' system is a lot different. I've talked to some wives up there in Canada and it's a lot different, but
Teri Holland (10:42.785)
Yeah.
Teri Holland (11:04.632)
Yeah.
Erika Brouillette (11:07.894)
Just being able to continue with his care through his insurances and advocate for that is a full-time job. Just last week, he and his caregiver were at a therapy at the clinic 40 minutes away from our house and their transportation didn't show up. And so my life had to stop right there. I had to...
Teri Holland (11:22.286)
I bet.
Erika Brouillette (11:35.634)
I had to call the state because I didn't know who the transportation was and I had to, they had to call their driver and just around, rigmarole, that took over two hours and I ended up having to call them and pay for a lift because that driver was over an hour and a half late and it was 95 degrees outside. The clinic was closed. They were sitting outside waiting. So I always say that my life is on a constant pivot.
Teri Holland (11:37.41)
Nah.
Teri Holland (11:48.727)
Yeah!
Erika Brouillette (12:05.084)
not knowing what curveball is going to get thrown at us that day. So I've really had to teach the boys and sometimes it's not easy. that I'm sorry, sometimes our plans have to change because of something that we wouldn't think would happen. He gets a hole in his G tube. That's the only way he gets his nutrition.
Teri Holland (12:07.246)
Mm-hmm.
Teri Holland (12:12.76)
Yeah.
Erika Brouillette (12:33.491)
And he gets his medicine. And so if that's not working correctly, we have to go sit in the emergency room and get that exchanged for him.
Yeah.
Teri Holland (12:44.76)
Wow. Yeah. Now one of the biggest things that comes up with trauma is a loss of identity or a change of identity. How did your identity shift through this?
Erika Brouillette (12:57.129)
Yeah, I...
No matter how hard I fought it, his brain injury has become my identity because it determines every move we make in every moment of the day. So...
I have worked really hard to break free from that. about a year ago, was at a really dark place and I couldn't find the light. just, you know, it becomes mundane, becomes, you become resentful and that's not a place where I want to be.
Teri Holland (13:30.508)
Yeah.
Erika Brouillette (13:47.926)
And so in the last year, I have worked really hard to find myself again. Even before his accident, working out was always my therapy. And so I've really stepped into that. I've taken time to meditate every day and to, no matter what it takes, because it does take an act of God to be able to
Teri Holland (13:57.742)
Yeah.
Teri Holland (14:11.502)
Nice.
Erika Brouillette (14:16.677)
schedule the caregivers and the babysitters and all of the things but I have made it a point to take that time for myself whether it's going to get my nails done or my haircut or Going to the dentist. I didn't go to the dentist for almost four years Because it was selfish to take care of myself but now after learning the hard way I've recognized that those things are really important and
Teri Holland (14:31.853)
Yeah.
Teri Holland (14:37.079)
Wow.
Erika Brouillette (14:46.409)
that I have to take care of myself so that I can take care of everyone else that needs to be the best that I can.
Teri Holland (14:54.126)
Yeah. So when you say that you learned that the hard way, what were those lessons?
Erika Brouillette (14:57.493)
Well, I had to have a lot of dental work last year. I spent three months in physical therapy because I am very stubborn and we have a lot going on. So sometimes the way I do things and caring for him are not the best for my body.
Teri Holland (15:07.16)
Hmm.
Teri Holland (15:16.046)
Wow.
Erika Brouillette (15:25.905)
It's just the fastest way to do them. And so I had to slow down and relearn those and take the time to PT myself back to health. Yeah.
Teri Holland (15:29.419)
Okay.
Teri Holland (15:41.858)
Yeah, yeah, it sounds like it. So what would you say to other women who are listening to this and are maybe there in that place where they're not taking care of themselves and maybe they feel guilt or shame about prioritizing their own needs and their own health? What would you say to those women listening?
Erika Brouillette (15:42.036)
Yeah.
Erika Brouillette (16:00.156)
I totally get it. I've been there and it's so much
can't say easier, but it is better for everyone for you to be pre-active in caring for yourself than it is to spend a week in the hospital worrying about how everyone else is being cared for. whether it's taking a five minute walk outside,
Teri Holland (16:34.68)
Yeah.
Erika Brouillette (16:40.045)
or sitting down and petting your dog or going to get your nails done or a girls weekend, it's super important to pour into yourself.
Teri Holland (16:47.374)
you
Teri Holland (16:52.994)
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. So over this past year that you have been finding yourself again, reclaiming your identity, what were some of those steps that you took to come out of that dark place you were in to where you are today?
Erika Brouillette (17:10.341)
The first one is accepting help. When we took Shelby home from the hospital, I couldn't imagine people just doing those intimate cares that he needed. And so I wanted to take them all myself. I was like, I'm his wife. I'm the person who has to do that.
Teri Holland (17:16.918)
Nice. Yeah.
Erika Brouillette (17:40.873)
That's a lot, especially when you've got the three little boys at home. And so we worked to, now I have over full-time help here and just allowing that time to be able to take care of myself and to be present for our sons is one really big thing.
Teri Holland (17:48.91)
Good
Erika Brouillette (18:08.52)
taking that time to work out. think that lifting heavy things is my purpose in life. I joked about that before his accident that that exercise was my therapy, but it really truly does get my mind right. So getting up earlier before everyone else does so that I have time to just pour into myself in doing my devotionals and meditation.
and getting that workout in and walking the dog is, I mean, that's a couple of hours, but it took a while for me to work that up to that. But that was a really big step. Giving myself grace, guilt and shame is, it's real. so recognizing that I'm doing the best
Teri Holland (18:48.149)
Teri Holland (18:57.774)
Hmm.
Erika Brouillette (19:06.44)
with what I have is another important lesson for yourself to take on.
Teri Holland (19:18.851)
Yeah.
Erika Brouillette (19:22.132)
And I never, I, I'm trying to think of how I want to reward this.
I was always one of those people who never wanted to go back to college, was okay with where I was. But now I've recognized that I have so much growth to have and that there are so many people for me to help. so I have poured into myself by learning
I learned how to podcast with you. have learned how to support other people. so I...
Teri Holland (20:09.538)
Yeah.
Erika Brouillette (20:23.916)
Erika Brouillette (20:28.306)
just know that there are so many women who were in the same place as I was a year ago, five years ago. And I have made it my mission to help those women recognize that they don't have to live in the identity of their husband's brain injury. That if photography was their passion before his accident, that she can get back into that and she can enjoy that.
and she doesn't have to feel guilty about that. Yeah.
Teri Holland (20:57.624)
Mm-hmm.
Teri Holland (21:03.458)
Yeah.
Yeah. So at what point did you realize that you could help other women going through the same thing? At what point did you shift from learning how to take care of yourself again to now I can support other people?
Erika Brouillette (21:21.588)
Well, I think I realized that really early on in his accident. I have always been a networker and a connector and a helper. And so even sitting at his therapies, I was like, man, I have got to help people that don't have the help or the...
Teri Holland (21:27.822)
Mm-hmm.
Teri Holland (21:35.223)
Yeah.
Erika Brouillette (21:47.519)
that don't have the fight in them that I did, that aren't the bowl in the china cabinet demanding that something gets done, that they have someone in their corner that is willing to help them and walk beside them. I had one of my sons, one of the parents on my son's baseball team a couple of years ago had
Teri Holland (22:00.096)
Hahaha.
Erika Brouillette (22:17.458)
taken me aside and asked me just questions about my husband and what happened to him and how much she admired me because I take him to all of the baseball games and I try to make life as normal as it can be for everyone, not just him, but for our boys that they have their dad there supporting them. And she had shared with me that a family member was laying in bed at home.
Teri Holland (22:40.493)
Yeah.
Erika Brouillette (22:45.542)
had had a stroke and that family member never gets out of bed. They can't access services and that right there was I guess that was the sign that I needed to know that I need people need us. People need help. People need to know what they don't know. They need to have access like we do that I fought for and so
Teri Holland (23:07.31)
Hmm.
Teri Holland (23:12.13)
Yeah.
Erika Brouillette (23:15.262)
That's what I'm here to do is help women do that.
Teri Holland (23:21.836)
Okay. And from that, you now have a community. Can you tell us about your community and how that community is supporting other women?
Erika Brouillette (23:26.802)
Yeah, so I started a community to help TBI wives reclaim their lives. It's called Reclaim. And in there we have just a lot of great resources, a forum where we can just be real with each other who get it. I know that, at least for me, I had so many friends and family that wanted to support me.
Teri Holland (23:52.302)
Mm-hmm.
Erika Brouillette (23:56.636)
Although I took that support, they just didn't get what I was going through. They didn't get the day to day issues that we run into or just how life is. And so to have that community of women who truly get it, I have lots of meditation in there that I have recorded for them to help with just getting yourself back in the moment.
Teri Holland (24:10.551)
Yeah.
Teri Holland (24:23.681)
Nice.
Erika Brouillette (24:25.839)
if you're having a struggle day. A workbook to help prioritize yourself without shame or guilt. I know that that's a lot of what I keep coming back to is shame and guilt, but it is a, it's a true feeling that women in my shoes feel every single day. That anything that they're doing for themselves that they should feel guilt or shameful for.
Teri Holland (24:43.884)
Mm-hmm.
Erika Brouillette (24:55.916)
and that's just not a good feeling to have.
Teri Holland (25:00.078)
Mm-hmm.
Teri Holland (25:03.532)
Yeah, absolutely. And how does someone join your community? How do they find it?
Erika Brouillette (25:04.115)
You can go to my website, reclaim, how do I say that? Reclaim. I sent it to you didn't I?
Erika Brouillette (25:15.173)
I can't remember what... Okay, and I'm on my son's computer.
Teri Holland (25:16.994)
Yes.
It'll be in the show notes. It'll be in the show.
Erika Brouillette (25:24.881)
I'm sorry. here we go. Reclaim-TBIwives.com.
Teri Holland (25:26.2)
Do we do it here? can, I can look it up for you. I got it. yeah.
Perfect. Perfect. So that'll be in the show notes. And what would you like, what...
I'm going to go a different direction.
Teri Holland (25:55.448)
So when you're having one of those hard days, because I'm sure there are many days that are harder than other days, what gets you through? What do you do?
Erika Brouillette (26:02.452)
Um, sometimes I just go in the other room and cry. I had one of those moments yesterday. Um, and I, this is your permission to do that because I know, in our society, that's a,
Teri Holland (26:12.494)
Hmm?
Teri Holland (26:21.08)
Yeah.
Erika Brouillette (26:26.099)
people think that that's a sign of weakness. But I think that everyone needs to be able to process every emotion that you go through. so having a good cry is good for anyone. But just going and sitting out on the patio.
just being is a big one for me. Going for a walk, a lot of outside stuff for me.
Teri Holland (26:54.028)
Mm-hmm.
Erika Brouillette (26:57.393)
But finding that thing that does it for you. mean, each one of my sons does something different. I have one that goes in the back and he'll kick the soccer ball around. I have another one that goes and works on the motorcycles and the shed. And I have another one who likes to go and swing. So however you process that, just find what works for you.
Teri Holland (26:59.864)
Yeah.
Teri Holland (27:17.634)
Yeah.
Teri Holland (27:24.878)
Okay. Okay.
and
Erika Brouillette (27:29.523)
You're good.
Teri Holland (27:31.544)
Okay, sorry, my mind is jumping all over the place with this one.
okay.
Erika Brouillette (27:42.097)
You're absolutely. We're good.
Teri Holland (27:44.716)
I'm just thinking, just give me a moment to think.
Teri Holland (27:49.88)
Okay.
Teri Holland (27:55.406)
Hmm.
Teri Holland (28:08.045)
Okay, so I want to shift gears entirely and ask you about your podcast because I think that that's also such a great resource that you're providing for women who are walking the same path as you. So you are the host of Real Lives of TBI Wives and you launched that podcast recently through my five-day Launch Your Podcast challenge. Can you share what that journey was like for you in sharing your message and getting your voice out there?
Erika Brouillette (28:32.359)
Yeah, I did. I would have never expected that I would have a podcast, but I'm having so much fun. So I joined your challenge, not really knowing what exactly I was gonna do, but I think day one, it became so clear. You make it so easy to just go from start to finish.
Teri Holland (28:42.592)
Hahaha
Mm-hmm.
Teri Holland (29:01.4)
Thank you.
Erika Brouillette (29:01.797)
and be confident. So thank you for that. You made it seamless. So this first season I started in April and I have been interviewing other TBI wives and I just love that it's a space for women to tell their story beyond their husband's tragedy. So like I mentioned a couple of times,
Teri Holland (29:10.766)
you're welcome.
Teri Holland (29:31.534)
Mm-hmm.
Erika Brouillette (29:33.145)
It's very easy to just become his injury, become his caregiver, his provider, his advocate. So I want to provide that space for women to be able to share their story, how they got through it, how their community was there for them, what they're doing for self care.
Teri Holland (29:46.872)
Yeah.
Erika Brouillette (30:01.639)
and also helping them recognize what they have gone through.
They're having to share their husband's story because that's part of it, right? But just really getting back to them and recognizing them. So I think it's been really beautiful. It has definitely grown me in places that I would have never expected. That first week I was torn inside out. I really recognized that I'm an empath and I took on every single one of those women's stories.
Teri Holland (30:15.479)
Yeah.
Teri Holland (30:21.08)
Right.
Teri Holland (30:28.652)
Yeah.
Erika Brouillette (30:41.962)
And so I recognized that I can't do interviews every day. I have to just take a couple of days a week and really be in the right mindset to be able to process and edit those to be able to honor the women and their stories and honor myself as well. Like we were talking about taking care of yourself.
Teri Holland (30:47.596)
Bye.
Teri Holland (30:55.565)
Uh-huh.
Teri Holland (31:05.528)
Mm-hmm.
Teri Holland (31:11.32)
Yeah.
Erika Brouillette (31:12.036)
Even through that, I recognized I had to take a step back and do.
Teri Holland (31:19.758)
Absolutely. Absolutely. What was it like for you? Sorry allergies. What was that like for you the first time you took that leap and you hit record?
Erika Brouillette (31:31.562)
my gosh.
it was nerve wracking. And I didn't think that I needed to have show notes or not show notes. I didn't think I needed to have pre interview questions and I was just going to fly by the seat of my pants. And after those first three interviews, I think I I sat back down and I went through and I created interview questions and things have gone really well. But
Teri Holland (31:37.729)
Hahaha
Teri Holland (31:44.408)
Yeah.
Teri Holland (31:50.958)
Hmm.
Erika Brouillette (32:03.781)
I do know that God placed the right people in those first few interviews that they did so well and the flow went great and their stories were amazing and they're still impacting other women and other people. yeah.
Teri Holland (32:08.429)
Yeah.
Teri Holland (32:20.043)
Yeah.
Teri Holland (32:24.694)
Nice. Yeah. Yeah. And what would you say to someone who's thinking about starting a podcast but hasn't taken the leap?
Erika Brouillette (32:30.332)
take Terry's five day challenge. Just keep it simple and just do it. Like I'm in a couple of podcast Facebook groups and people ask that every day and like Teri says, grab a microphone and some headphones and just go. You can edit it. You can edit anything and it'll be great.
Teri Holland (32:36.492)
Thank you. Thanks.
Teri Holland (32:42.221)
Yeah.
Teri Holland (32:58.36)
Yeah.
Teri Holland (33:01.964)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. Now you have a link that you sent me, do you want to talk about what this is? The real lives bonus? Yeah, tell us about that.
Erika Brouillette (33:06.662)
Yes.
Yeah, so I want to invite you or your guests to the reallivesbonus.com. It's a place where I can share just how I was able or how I can help you shrink that time because I've gone through it and I have acquired so many tools and resources to
Teri Holland (33:37.613)
Yeah.
Erika Brouillette (33:39.462)
just to help with navigating through the time after trauma. And so just hop on that website and I'd love to connect with you.
Teri Holland (33:48.066)
Mm-hmm.
Teri Holland (33:55.662)
So that will be in the show notes as well. And now I also want to ask you, if you don't mind, I want to ask you about your faith because you've mentioned that several times of how important that has been to you. And I'm curious to know how has this changed your faith at all from before and after? Has it strengthened it? Has it challenged it? What has that been like for you?
Erika Brouillette (33:58.428)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Erika Brouillette (34:14.672)
all of the above.
Definitely challenged. I think when anyone goes through tragedy or some very large life event, they're going to question God. They're going to question why me or...
Teri Holland (34:21.143)
Okay.
Erika Brouillette (34:37.968)
why this? And so yes, it has challenged. But I think that it has grown my faith in... I grew up in the church ever since I was born. And I think I had a very lukewarm faith. But within the hospital,
Teri Holland (34:44.888)
Yeah.
Erika Brouillette (35:08.028)
during COVID when it was just the two of us, there was a lot of time to just sit and listen. And I often say that I never shut up long enough to hear God's voice. sitting in the silence for so long, I did. I was able to sit and listen.
Teri Holland (35:26.668)
Ha ha.
Erika Brouillette (35:35.42)
There was something else I was gonna say about it, but I forgot. Maybe it'll come to me.
Teri Holland (35:37.816)
Wow.
Teri Holland (35:45.196)
Yeah. Okay. Okay. Amazing. And so when you were in that space and you're now able to listen and hear God, what came to you?
Erika Brouillette (35:55.186)
well, I think.
Erika Brouillette (36:03.558)
I don't know if it was something coming to me, but just recognizing...
Teri Holland (36:14.401)
Okay.
Erika Brouillette (36:16.006)
We had to have a lot of hard conversations in the hospital and especially those first couple of days.
Teri Holland (36:24.898)
Mm-hmm.
Erika Brouillette (36:26.468)
That's when I started asking the questions. And so one of those was, if we keep going, we need to put a new trach in because they had trached him at the accident site. If we're not gonna keep going, we're not gonna do that. So...
Do you want to continue? Do you want to continue care for him? And so I had to, I just kept asking the questions of, if all of his organs are working, what are you gonna do? Like usually they would just like turn off his ventilator, right? But he was breathing on his own. So they were gonna starve him to death. And I was like, okay.
Teri Holland (37:20.074)
Yeah. Yeah.
Erika Brouillette (37:23.792)
So if all of his organs are working, God's telling me, we're not gonna starve him. We're gonna keep him going. Then I had, yeah.
Teri Holland (37:36.354)
Yeah, that sounds horrific. that just, and being in that situation of being presented with that decision and that option, that's horrible. Yeah.
Erika Brouillette (37:41.882)
Yeah, yeah. And with that, I'm going to get on my soapbox. So Shelby and I are young. He'll be 50 this year. I'm 43. And we never talked about having a will. Well, we did, but it was like, we're too young. Nothing's gonna happen to us. And so we didn't have one. Even though I was his wife, I had zero.
Teri Holland (37:53.582)
Please.
Erika Brouillette (38:12.58)
say in that hospital because we didn't have a will. So I was blessed with a friend who's an attorney and that's his his thing and so he helped me with becoming my husband's guardian and conservator and so that's a whole other ball game. So now I sign, I don't sign documents as wife, I sign them as his guardian.
Teri Holland (38:21.39)
Wow.
Teri Holland (38:38.786)
Yeah
Erika Brouillette (38:42.531)
So if you don't have your will, call your attorney today and get a will. Yeah.
Teri Holland (38:47.97)
Okay.
Teri Holland (38:52.126)
Yeah. Yeah. that's like, such good advice for anyone listening. Get your stuff in order. Yeah. Yeah. I know we did ours. Yeah, we did our we were in the same mindset. We're like, we're young. That's a later problem. We don't need to worry about that. And then my mother-in-law found out we didn't have a will and she bought one for us. Like she
Erika Brouillette (38:57.723)
Yes, please don't be like us.
Erika Brouillette (39:15.033)
her.
Teri Holland (39:20.468)
It was at a silent auction and she saw there was an attorney offering a will and so she outbid everyone, got it, gave us the paperwork. It was like, you call this attorney and you set up your will. And so we're very grateful for that, that she had the foresight to see you need this. Because otherwise we probably wouldn't even have one to this day. It'd still be without one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Erika Brouillette (39:31.717)
Yeah.
Erika Brouillette (39:36.539)
Yeah, yeah. So other God moments, we had a nurse that I'm still in contact with in the ICU and he was an atheist and he had just come to Christ a few years prior and so we had a lot of amazing conversations within that ICU room and then.
Teri Holland (39:53.122)
Okay.
Teri Holland (40:00.493)
Okay.
Erika Brouillette (40:03.022)
when he was in rehab, we had a gal who wasn't even his nurse, but she was a friend of a friend. she, every time she was on, she would come and she would pray over Shelby. And we ran into each other at one point in time because again, it was COVID. So I didn't get to visit with many people at all. But she was like, I just want you to know, I've been praying over him every single day that I'm here. And he just placed the right people at the right time.
Teri Holland (40:19.544)
you
Teri Holland (40:26.328)
Yeah.
Teri Holland (40:31.725)
Wow.
Erika Brouillette (40:32.721)
in each and every one of the hospitals that we were at. And then after, after we had gotten home, I had a ring on the doorbell and it was a gal that I had no idea who she was. she said she knew my husband was in a bad car accident. He was not doing well, but she was sent there to tell me that my husband's going to be okay, that he is
Teri Holland (40:37.88)
Mm-hmm.
Erika Brouillette (41:03.001)
it's gonna take him a long time to heal, but he's going to be okay. And so that's one of those things that when you said what keeps you going, I remember that lady who just rang my doorbell, was one of God's angels and sent her here to give me that news. And one other that I remember offhand was the boys love to do lemonade stands and we had.
Teri Holland (41:13.11)
Wow.
Teri Holland (41:17.346)
Yeah.
Teri Holland (41:27.854)
Yeah.
Erika Brouillette (41:30.245)
taking daddy in his wheelchair across the busy road to a park and we were setting up shop for a lemonade stand and a guy pulled up and he just was looking at us funny, each one of us, and he said, all of these are yours? And I was like, yep, they're all my boys and this is my husband. And he was like, and you take care of all of this? And I said, yep, I do.
Teri Holland (41:35.544)
nice.
Erika Brouillette (41:58.034)
And he said, there's something I need to do for you. And I was like, just pray for us. We'll be okay. Just pray. And he took out a hundred dollar bill and he handed it to me. And he gave me his card and he said, I'm going to take care of you. Just give me a call. And I never did, but I felt like that was God's way of telling me, you know, we've always struggled with finances, but that was his way of telling me that financially we're going to be okay.
Teri Holland (42:03.138)
Yeah.
Teri Holland (42:32.75)
Wow, that's amazing. Now I have some rapid fire questions for you if you're game for it, if you're ready. What's your favorite book to recommend?
Erika Brouillette (42:36.546)
Okay.
Erika Brouillette (42:45.038)
up his name.
Teri Holland (42:51.596)
Yeah, yeah, please.
Erika Brouillette (43:02.161)
Okay, it's hashtag butt god, so butt god by Jeremy Freeman. I don't want to start playing. It's the power of hope when catastrophe crashes in. His son was in a car accident and the two of them are motivational speakers and they go around the country sharing butt god and it's a really great story and they're a really great follow on social media as well.
Teri Holland (43:13.72)
Okay.
Teri Holland (43:32.28)
Thanks.
Erika Brouillette (43:35.025)
Mmm, my mother-in-law's from Thailand, so anything Thai.
Teri Holland (43:36.191)
I'm going to check them out. That sounds really good. What's your favorite food?
Erika Brouillette (43:42.265)
mangoes and sticky rice.
Teri Holland (43:45.358)
yeah, I love Thai food. Yeah. yeah. Yeah, that sounds good. Who inspires you?
Erika Brouillette (43:51.057)
I
Erika Brouillette (44:00.571)
Well, besides the obvious of my husband, my mom, she is one of 12 children. Her dad passed away when she was very young. My grandma too, I guess. My grandma raised all of them. Just gone through a lot. My nephew passed away when he was 11.
Teri Holland (44:08.423)
Yeah.
Teri Holland (44:12.686)
Nice.
Teri Holland (44:19.8)
Wow.
Erika Brouillette (44:30.478)
lots of family stuff. And so she just always has that faith as well. And hardworking, she and my dad have had their own business for many, many years. And that's not easy, working as a couple together for 35 years and still staying together. Neither.
Teri Holland (44:32.471)
Yeah.
Teri Holland (44:39.659)
Okay.
Teri Holland (44:46.229)
Mm-hmm.
Teri Holland (44:55.66)
Yeah, that's tough. Yeah, I know I can do that. I always say I can have a happy marriage or I can have a business. I could not combine the two. Yeah, amazing. Who's the celebrity you'd like to have dinner with, dead or alive?
Erika Brouillette (45:02.064)
So true. So true. Yeah.
Erika Brouillette (45:11.481)
Mmm.
you
Teri Holland (45:33.89)
Yeah.
Erika Brouillette (45:38.49)
I knew you asked these questions too and I was like, she's not gonna ask me that. She's gonna ask me something different.
Teri Holland (45:46.109)
Hahaha
Erika Brouillette (45:56.676)
let's say Michael J. Fox. He's gone through so much and yeah, he's done some amazing things.
Teri Holland (46:04.59)
Wow, interesting. Yeah.
Teri Holland (46:11.35)
Yeah, definitely. And the final one, what is your go-to karaoke song?
Erika Brouillette (46:18.906)
There's so many. There was a lot of drunken bar times.
Let's say sweet home Alabama. Thanks.
Teri Holland (46:31.317)
Hahaha.
Teri Holland (46:37.816)
good choice. Fun. That's a fun one. Yeah. And now, Shannon Boyer was the last guest on the show and she passed along this question for the next guest, which is you. And what she says is, what's the number one thing you notice with people who take your advice and your guidance and have success and those who do not?
Erika Brouillette (47:09.168)
Those who take my advice are...
going to be those who...
Erika Brouillette (47:24.976)
who have broken through and become the victor. And those who do not are going to sit in the victim mentality.
Erika Brouillette (47:42.155)
you
Teri Holland (47:43.224)
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And what's a question that you would like to ask for the next guest without knowing who they are?
Erika Brouillette (48:03.49)
I am glad you have Riverside and you can edit out all of my children's chaos.
Teri Holland (48:12.395)
yeah, yeah, no worries, no worries.
Erika Brouillette (48:21.11)
say something about
Erika Brouillette (48:31.416)
I think I'm like in the gratitude space and what is one thing that you feel you have taken for granted?
Erika Brouillette (48:43.268)
Thanks.
Teri Holland (48:47.374)
Good one. Good question. Yeah. Any final words you want to leave the audience with?
Erika Brouillette (48:56.528)
I'm now that I said to what is one thing you'd taken for granted?
Teri Holland (49:07.501)
Yeah.
Erika Brouillette (49:08.144)
Uh-huh. How do I want to say it?
Erika Brouillette (49:15.949)
you
Erika Brouillette (49:19.834)
How about don't miss the opportunity no matter how small, whether it's a good night kiss or an I love you, because you never know when your last one's going to be.
Teri Holland (49:40.654)
great final words. Thank you so much, Erica, for coming on today. I've really, really enjoyed our conversation.
Erika Brouillette (49:41.85)
Thanks.
Teri Holland (49:50.158)
Perfect.
