Teri Holland (00:01.408)
Welcome to this bonus edition of Success of Mind. I guess it's a bonus edition because I wasn't planning on releasing a second episode this week and yet here we are because I have some things I want to talk about. So let's get into it. All right, here's what we're talking about today.
Teri Holland (00:34.606)
Okay, here is what we're talking about today. Women mindset and money. I go to a lot of networking groups for women and I love being in that space of women and connecting with other women. Now don't get me wrong, I also enjoy going to networking events that include men in them, but there's just something special about being in a group of just women who are in business and supporting each other and making things happen. Sorry guys.
but that is how it is. I just enjoy it. Now, here's a trend that I have noticed, and I've been noticing this for years, and it's just kind of hit home for me more recently. When women talk about making a lot of money, they justify why. When men talk about wanting to make a lot of money, they don't justify it, they just want to make a lot of money in their business. And here's what it sounds like. I hear so many women,
talk about money like this. I want to make a lot of money because I want to give it all away. I want to be more charitable, more philanthropic. I want to be able to give back more. And while on the surface, that sounds like a really great thing, doesn't it? It sounds very altruistic and like a great quality. In fact, I used to say these exact words myself. I wanna make a lot of money because I want the joy in giving.
Now here's the problem with it. And by the way, I'm not saying that wanting to give back is a bad thing, but it's the nuance in it of feeling the need to justify it right away. When I talk to men about making money, they want to make money because they want to, they just want to make more money. And maybe they want the lifestyle that comes with it. Maybe they just want to create a better lifestyle for their family, but they don't.
immediately justify it. They don't feel the need to explain why they want to make more money. Where women seem to always need to explain. They have to have a reason for it and just wanting to have more isn't enough.
Teri Holland (02:48.076)
And I used to talk this exact same way until one day I got to thinking about it and I asked myself, why can't I just make more money? Because I want to make more money. Why do I feel the need to explain it? And now the reason this is top of mind today is because I heard these exact same things at an event I was at yesterday, which by the way is a fantastic event. I loved it. This is no, no hate, no criticism of this event.
by any means. It's just simply an observation of how women talk about money. And I think that this is what holds many women back from making more money, is this need to justify it. Listen, you can make more money. You can make as much money as you want to make simply because you want it, period, full stop. You don't have to explain it. You don't have to justify it.
And it doesn't have to be so that you can give it all away. I mean, that sounds really great, but it's okay to want to make more money because you want a better lifestyle, because you want financial freedom, because you don't want to have to worry about money anymore or even think about money. When I had this shift in my thinking, I realized that I want to make more money because to me money equals better health. Because the more money I have, the better access I have to better healthcare.
And for those of you listening, yes, I live in Canada. I don't directly pay for my healthcare. If I go to the hospital, I'm not getting a bill at the end of that to pay for. But with money comes other services. With more money, I can afford to go see my naturopath more frequently. With more money, I can work with a dietician or a personal trainer.
I can go to the chiropractor regularly. I can go for massages whenever I want with more money. With more money, I have access to resources that aren't available through the public healthcare system. More money to me equals more vacations. More vacations to me equals better health. So in my mind, money equals health. And the more money I have, the greater access I have to healthy resources. The better quality my food is, you get where I'm going. So to me, money is
Teri Holland (05:13.656)
health. And it's not about, I need to give it all away. And here's the thing is I give money whenever I can. If I see a GoFundMe online that I support or a charity I want to support, I do it now. You don't have to be rich to be able to help even just like a few dollars here or there. We don't need to justify wanting more money.
It doesn't have to be to save the planet or make the world better. You can just want it because you want it, because you want your life to be better, because you want your family life to be better. The other thing I hear so often in these women's groups is women saying, I want to make more money so that I can retire my husband. And oof, I really wish that women would rethink those words. I want to retire my husband.
And again, while that sounds on the surface like a lovely thing to do, my first question is always, does your husband want to retire? And when we look at that word retire, if you look it up, it really doesn't have a positive meaning at all.
Teri Holland (06:31.084)
In fact, when we look at the etymology, the root of the word retire or retiring, it's all about withdrawing from service, withdrawing from being active, involved. It's about being subdued, removed. In fact, the word comes from military retirement, which is to withdraw, to step back. And to me, that doesn't sound positive. That sounds like
your time being useful is up. You're being put out to pasture, so to speak. It's not a positive connotation of the word retire. And a lot of people find that when they retire, they find that they feel like they've lost their purpose. They feel like they're no longer a useful part of society anymore. So when someone says, I want to retire my husband,
That sounds like I want to make him redundant, useless, subdued. And while these women don't mean that, I know that's not what they mean when they say it, but our words have power. Your words have power. I don't want to retire my husband. I don't want to make him redundant and useless. What I would like is to make so much money.
that he has the choice to continue working or to do something else or to start a business or do whatever he wants to do in life. That is what I wish women would say instead. I want to make enough money that my husband can do whatever he wants, that we have the freedom to choose. Money also means freedom of choice to me. Listen, if you have more money, you can easily choose to move to another country if the one you're living in is no longer
aligned with your values or your lifestyle. With more money you can choose to go on vacation, you can choose how you spend your days, you can choose where your kids go to school, you can have bigger, better choices to support the life that you want. That to me is what more money means and it also means my husband has more choices in life. I was curious about this so recently I've been asking a number of my male friends of
Teri Holland (08:45.738)
who I know want to make more money and are building a business to make more money. And I've asked them, why do want to make more money? And they say, because I want a better lifestyle. Because I don't want to have to think about money anymore. I never want to have to question if I could afford something again.
or because I want to create a better lifestyle for my family, because I want my wife to be able to choose if she continues to work or not and to do whatever she feels called to do. But yet as women, we talk about, need to give back to the world. I need to be more philanthropic. I want to be able to give it all away. And it almost sounds to me, actually not almost, it does sound to me.
Like we have this need to apologize for wanting more. You don't have to apologize. Listen, there is more money in circulation today than ever before in the history of humanity and you are allowed to want more of it. You're allowed to make more of it. You are allowed to stake your claim and say, this is how much money I wanna make and pursue it. You're allowed to want more and to want better.
Teri Holland (10:13.848)
So for all of you listening, and specifically for the women who are listening, in this case, let's take a page out of the book that men use and say, I just want more because I want it.
And when you get it, if you want to give lots of it away, by all means do it, but don't feel like you have to justify wanting it because you're going to give it away. And I hope you understand the nuance in that. I am not saying it is bad to be giving by any means. I am not saying that it's wrong to want to help and be charitable, but it's the intention behind it.
And I've had so many of these conversations and it's always the same. Women feel the need to justify why they want it. You don't have to justify it. You can want it simply because you want that bigger house. You want to buy a yacht. You want to take more vacations with your family. That is enough. You don't have to explain it. In fact, you don't even have to explain that much. You can just want it because you want it.
The other thing I'm hearing a lot, and actually I talked about this on my episode where Yehal was on the most recent one with Yahel Demeter. He's been on three times now. But the most recent episode with Yehal Demeter where he interviewed me, we talked about redefining success. And I talked about defining success by the impact I want to make. But don't mistake that. That impact to me will have a result on my bank account. I'll see the results of that impact
in my finances.
Teri Holland (11:53.87)
I think sometimes we think that we're just not allowed to want money or that money is a bad thing or a negative thing, that it's something we shouldn't be striving for, but we need to be real here. We still live in a physical world that is run by money. And while we can work hard to change that reality, that is still the current reality. I had a talk with one of my long-term friends,
about this yesterday and she's a financial planner. And I asked her about these views on money and why women feel the need to justify it. And as we were having this conversation, she said the same thing that I just said. She said, we need to be realistic. We live in a physical world. Money makes things happen. Money opens doors. Money gives us better resources. And so it is absolutely okay to want more. It is okay to work for more. It is okay to create a business.
that is going to bring you more and you don't need to explain why you want it to anyone. You can just say, I want to make X amount of dollars because I want it, period.
Teri Holland (13:05.462)
Okay, I think I'm done with my rant for today. If you have any thoughts on this, I'm curious to hear it. I'm curious to hear if you hear these same things in women's groups. And as I said earlier, I used to say the same thing until I realized I was doing that because, well, let's get really real here. I was doing that because deep down I felt like I was unworthy of having that money. So I had to justify wanting it by wanting to give it away.
and I think that's where it comes from for a lot of women, is I don't feel worthy to keep it, so I must want it so that I can give it to someone else who needs it more.
Teri Holland (13:47.668)
you can want what you want simply because you want it. And you can be charitable and giving when you feel called to do so. And those things can coexist. All right. Thank you so much for listening today. I hope you enjoyed this episode. If you did, make sure you rate the show, review the show, send me a message. Let me know that you liked it. All right. Thanks for being here today. Bye for now, my friends. Next week, I'm to be back with Jonathan Maynard and we are talking all about
mindset and business. He has built multiple seven-figure businesses and he's going to share some of his secrets and tips for the mindset behind that kind of success and what drives him every day. So you'll want to tune in next week for that episode with Jonathan Maynard. All right, my friends, bye for now.
