[00:00:00] What if I told you that your greatest failures could actually be the key to your success and that instead of avoiding failure, you could embrace it? Learn from it and use it as fuel to achieve things that you never thought were possible. Welcome back to success in mind. And today we're going to flip the script on a failure, turning it into a tool for growth, confidence, and unstoppable momentum to grow your business.
You're listening to Success in Mind, the show for high performing leaders, changemakers, and entrepreneurs ready to take your life and business to the next level. If you're ready for whole life success, keep listening.
Let me share a personal story to get things started. Many years ago, I set out to launch my very first online program, and I thought it would be life changing. I poured months of effort into it. And [00:01:00] when it finally launched, no one Signed up. Not a single person. I was crushed, devastated and overwhelmed by self doubt. But here's the thing that so called failure ended up teaching me more about business, marketing and resilience than any success ever could. And because of that, I was able to refine my messaging, pivot my approach and eventually launch a program that succeeded.
And I know that many of you have similar stories of failure. Maybe a job interview that didn't go well or a relationship that fell apart. A goal you didn't reach. Well today we're going to change the way you think about these moments. And by the end of this episode, my goal for you is that you see why failure is not the end of the road.
It's the beginning of something [00:02:00] better.
So let's start by understanding why failure scares us so much. For most of us, it's tied to ego or a fear of rejection. We've been conditioned to think that if we fail, it means we're not good enough or that others will judge us. The fear of failure often leads to perfectionism or even analysis paralysis where we don't even try because we're afraid of what could go wrong.
That was me for years. For years, I wouldn't try anything new because I was afraid I would fail. But here's the truth. Failure is an event. It's not an identity. Just because you failed at something doesn't mean that you're a failure. Failure is what happens, not who you are. One of my all time favorite quotes is from Henry Ford, and he said, [00:03:00] Failure is simply an opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.
That's the mindset shift we're diving into today.
So how can we reframe failure? Well, in NLP, we say failure is only feedback. There is no failure, only feedback. The key is to treat failure as feedback. It's not the final result. So here's a simple process that you can apply right now to help you do just that. Step 1. Pause and reflect. When you experience a setback, don't immediately jump to self criticism.
Take a step back and process what happened. Write down the situation, the outcome, and how you felt. Step 2. Extract the lesson. Ask yourself, what did [00:04:00] this experience teach me? What would I do differently next time? Remember, every failure carries a lesson if you're willing to look at it. And then three, celebrate the effort.
This is so important, and I think many people skip this. Even if the outcome wasn't what you wanted, You showed up, you tried, you did something, and that is worth acknowledging because taking action is the foundation of all success. Think about it. When you first learned to ride a bike, did you get it right on the first try?
No, of course not. You fell. You probably scraped up your knees. I know I did. But you kept going, and eventually you found your balance. I remember when I was first learning how to ride a bike, I scraped my knee so badly, I have the scar to this day. And I wanted to quit, but [00:05:00] my dad just picked me up, dried my tears, put me right back on that bike, and I kept going.
And I know that some of our failures feel a lot bigger than that, don't they? Like when you put yourself out there in your business, you make your first reel on Instagram and no one watches it. Or even worse, they mock it, or you get your first viral post and you get trolled relentlessly for it. That happened to me more than once.
Or you launch a program and no one buys it. You launch a new product and no one buys. And those failures can feel very overwhelming and hard to come back from. But if we can learn to look at them as feedback so that we can try again and this time more intelligently. We're going to be so much further ahead.
[00:06:00] So here are some of my favorite famous examples of failure leading to success. J. K. Rowling was rejected by 12 publishers before someone finally gave Harry Potter a chance. Can you imagine if she stopped after that first rejection? The world would not have Harry Potter. Walt Disney applied for financing 302 times for Disney and got rejected.
Imagine if he quit. Imagine if he quit after 10 times, 20, how many of us? would take 302 rejections on our dreams and still try again. Thomas Edison famously said, I didn't fail 10, 000 times, I found 10, 000 ways that didn't work. Without those so called failures, we wouldn't have the light bulb.[00:07:00]
And Oprah Winfrey was fired from her first television job. But she used that setback as fuel, eventually becoming one of the most influential media personalities of all time. These people didn't give up because of failure. They used it as a stepping stone, and so can you. We can learn from this. So how can we build a mindset that not only tolerates failure, But thrives because of it.
First, it requires a shift in perspective. Failure is not something to be feared. It is proof you're taking action. If you're not failing at something, you're probably not challenging yourself enough. I remember once hearing Sarah Blakely talk about this. She was the founder of Spanx and I believe, I could be wrong, but I believe she's the first Self made female billionaire, or at least like the [00:08:00] second or the first one under 30 or something like that.
Anyway, she told a story about how her dad, when she was growing up, her dad every night at the dinner table would ask her and her siblings What did you fail at today? And he wanted to hear a failure and if they didn't fail at anything, if they didn't have something to report, he would say, well, then you didn't try anything new today.
What a great perspective. And she attributes her success to that mindset of accepting failure, that it's not a bad thing. It means you've tried something. Seconds start small. Build your tolerance by taking small risks. Each time you fail and you bounce back, your confidence will grow. I remember one of my mentors telling me that her coach had her, I remember one of my mentors telling me once how her [00:09:00] coach had her get three nos a day.
Every day, she had to set out to get three no's. And she did this for several months. So first it started small. She'd ask for something from someone and they would say no. But then she started getting braver. She would go to her local coffee shop and say, Hey, can I have a free coffee today? And you know what?
Sometimes they would say yes. Which surprised her and meant that then she had to think of something else that she could fail at. Something else that she could be rejected by. But that built her resilience so that when a client, when a customer said no to her, she didn't care. She just moved on to the next prospect.
And third, build a support network. Share your struggles and your wins with people who lift you up, [00:10:00] not tear you down. Whether it's friends, family, or a coach, having someone in your corner can make all the difference. Okay, so here's something you can do today. If you are able to, grab a journal right now, and I want you to write down one failure that still feels heavy.
And if you can't do this right now, if you're listening in the car, or walking the dog, or whatever you're doing, come back and do this later. So you're going to write down one failure that still feels heavy. And then answer these three questions. 1. What did I learn from this experience? Two, how did it help me grow?
And three, how can I use that lesson to move forward? And if you want to take this even deeper to the next level, then take 10 minutes to visualize your future self looking back on this failure. Imagine [00:11:00] how it became the very thing that helped you to achieve success. What would your future self thank you for learning from this moment?
I mean, think about that. Think about if J. K. Rowling, on her 11th rejection from a publisher, sat down and did this exercise and was able to see her future success, and all the wealth and opportunity, prosperity, the joy that Harry Potter brought into so many lives, and realize, She did that. And then she tried one more time.
So failure is not the end. It's just the beginning of a new opportunity. And every time you face a setback, you're given a chance to rewrite your story. To grow stronger, to move closer to the future that you're creating.
So thank you for being here today and listening to [00:12:00] this episode. If it resonated with you, I would love to hear about it. Share your reflections with me on social media or tag me or the podcast. And if you haven't already, hit the subscribe button so that you never miss an episode. Thank you so much for joining me here today.
And remember success is within your mind's reach until next week. Thank you so much. My friends. Have a great week. Bye for now.
